Steps to a Peaceful Divorce

Stephanie Vokral |

Very few people set out to end their marriage in a divorce, much less a divorce where they despise their spouse at the end of it or spend thousands of dollars in court or in attorney fees. In fact, some may see the term “amicable divorce” as a faux pas.  Most people do not want to negatively impact their children’s lives (in some situations, divorce may improve their lives) or ruin other relationships. Instead, most people want a peaceful divorce process. An amicable divorce is possible!  The Financial Knot can help you and your spouse approach divorce in ways that will allow you to work together.  The Financial Knot is here to offer divorce assistance in order to provide a more peaceful process. Below are a few simple steps to help you on your way.


Step 1: Focus on the Big Picture. If you want to get through your divorce as amicable as possible, you are going to have to learn to pick your battles. Take some time to figure out what is most important to you, what you want, and what you need. Think about what your non-negotiables are. That way, you will not get caught up in the little things, and you will be able to negotiate without being angry over items that are not important to you. It’s all about negotiations!


Step 2: Try Not to Place Blame. It’s easy to blame your spouse for the failure of your marriage or other things while you were married. There can be many reasons for divorce. However, if you find yourself in that place, the time for blame has passed. If you and your spouse decide to divorce without blame, putting your differences aside, you have a much greater chance of a diplomatic divorce, instead of a contentious one. Remember, if you have kids, you will always be connected to this person; so try to make it peaceful for the kids and for the times you will be working with your ex-spouse in the years to come. 


Step 3: Engage in a “Good Faith Negotiation.” In a good faith negotiation, both parties are willing to put everything out in the open and discuss things such as income, debts, tax returns, and assets. Both parties are willing to reveal all relevant financial information and ensure, to the best of their abilities, that the information is correct. A good faith negotiation builds trust and helps to keep the divorce transparent.


Step 4: Talk About Your Settlement Out of Court. Sometimes involving attorneys early in your divorce process can make it anything but peaceful. Your spouse may perceive hiring an attorney right away as a hostile move. This could make your divorce proceedings confrontational from the start. The best way to have a peaceful divorce is to choose to do it together. You may consider hiring an attorney for advice, but not telling your spouse right away. You need to know your rights; having an attorney is imperative. This way, you can resolve issues in a more respectful environment. 



Investment Advice offered through The Financial Knot, a registered investment advisor.